How to build more opportunities to connect with your child into your daily routine, from DrLauraMarkham
"I can't believe how things with my daughter have turned around, since I started focusing on connection."We all crave those close moments with our children that make our hearts melt. Connection is as essential to us parents as it is to our children, because that's what makesThat connection is also the only reason children willingly follow our rules. Kids who feel strongly connected to their parentsto cooperate, if they can.
Researchers remind us that we need five positive interactions to every negative interaction to keep any relationship healthy. And since we spend so much time guiding — a.k.a. correcting, reminding, scolding, criticizing, nagging, and yelling — it's important to make sure we spend five times as much time in positive connection.
But we're only human. There are days when all we can do is meet our children's most basic needs. Some days it's nothing short of heroic simply to feed them, bathe them, keep an encouraging tone, and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour — so we can do it all over again tomorrow! So given that parenting is the toughest job on earth — and we often do it in our spare time, after being separated all day — the only way to keep a strong bond with our children is to build in daily habits of connection. Here are twelve habits that don't add time to your day, but do add connection.
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.Snuggle your child first thing in the morning for a few minutes, and last thing at night. Hug when you say goodbye, when you're re-united, and often in between. Tousle hair, pat backs, rub shoulders. Make eye contact and smile, which is a different kind of touch.
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