Love Myth No. 1: You can’t sustain the “honeymoon” period of relationships
Nothing lasts forever. Photo: Courtesy of Fox Searchlight “Are you still as attracted to me as when we first started dating?” I asked my husband late in bed one night after not having sex for a few days. We had both been busy, but since my brain is always overburdened by early warning signs of relationship peril, checking in is the best way to defuse my neuroses.“I suppose we have six more years until the seven-year itch hits,” I said, only half joking. “Although I think that’s a myth.
According to science, that’s just the way love works. As much as the world has been fed countless fairy-tales about the never-ending nature of romance, new research actually refutes the idea that love lasts forever. “I used to look at my first marriage as sucking because that’s just the way things were supposed to go,” I confessed to my husband. “When I could have actively worked toward sustaining the spark, like I do with you.”
The secret to healthy relationships, according to Gottman, is learning how to defuse tension. For example, my husband knows that I like to be touched or held when we talk about stressful stuff. And I know that he appreciates undivided focus until we reach a resolution, rather than shifting attention to a more comfortable topic.
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