'While I'm still not happy with everything about my body, I'm getting there.'
should
happen, that when I gave birth, I should feel so grateful for my child that I wouldn't think about myself at all. For a little, things were like that: in the days after giving birth, I was so consumed with love and happiness that it overtook everything else. I didn't give much thought to the fact that I was more swollen than I ever had been before, I ignored my puffy face, I embraced loose sweatpants, and I dealt with the pain.
But as the rose-colored new-mommy-and-child bubble began to fade away, I started to pay more attention to what was going on with my body. My stomach seemed pouchy and loose and impossible to conceal. I felt like my hips had doubled in size. I thought that my face looked wider and rounder. Yes, I had , like many women do, but I still had to lose quite a bit more to get back to where I had been before my daughter was born.than I had ever been in before, and was finding the simple tasks of sitting, laughing, and walking to be nearly impossible. My hormones were in a place they had never been before, and I was crying over everything. In short, I didn't feel like myself at all . . . and I hated it.
, for its ability to create human life, to make a tiny, perfect, healthy baby girl when some women can't. I waited for a feeling of nonchalance about my weight, for my mind to realize I had better and more important things to focus on now with my daughter. For a while, those feelings didn't come. Instead, I was just focused on my weight and what people were thinking about me every time they saw me. And I felt, and still feel, incredibly guilty for being so self-absorbed.
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