4 is SO important.
is a lot easier said than done, though, especially when you’re naked and vulnerable in front of another human. These expert tips from sex educators, doctors, and psychologists will make it a lot easier to cross that finish line every time.If you don't feel safe and relaxed before rocking the sheets, it’ll be harder to get off. “Orgasms are about release, letting go, vulnerability,” says Marisol G. Westberg, PhD, a board-certified sexologist and sex educator in Portland, Oregon.
It sounds counterintuitive, but focus on what’s actually happening in your body versus the outcome, advises Westberg. “Every time a thought comes to you during sex, find a feeling of pleasure in your body to focus on,” she suggests. “It can be as small as your heart beating faster, a warm feeling in your heart, or your thigh muscles relaxing.”
It’s all about practicing mindfulness. “An essential aspect of mindfulness is noticing anxious and distracting thoughts as they occur and then letting them go without judgment or further worry and simply bringing yourself back to your body again,” she says. Again, the more in the moment you can be, the more likely you are to see stars.
When you’re anxious, you tense up and tend to hold your breath—not exactly a conducive state for letting go. “The saying ‘the more you breathe, the more you feel’ is so true,” Pailet adds.Bringing yourself to orgasm and being aware of your body during your solo sessions can help you learn exactly which strokes and touches you need to get there.
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