If the Domestic Violence Laws nationwide are not amended to include coercion and control, more women will fear coming to court to tell their stories because they will fear the defenses raised by abusive husbands and partners. More women will suffer.
Embarrassing information against the victim such as providing escort services in contravention of the victim’s rendering of a pattern of coercion and control may be put forth to suggest she is a prostitute, to place her claims of sexual abuse in question. One must ask though, why was she providing escort services? Who encouraged her to do so? Prostitutes too can be raped.
I ask a simple question: How could they tell their abuser in real time what they felt without fear of reprisal or harm from him? Did they even know what they felt at the time or were they numb from the abuse? Often the abuser has so demeaned or denigrated the victim that she accepts his position that she is “weak” and a “lesser human being” believing she deserved the abuse. She may not know she is being abused. Such is the control held over a victim by an abuser.
I reported on some of the abuses suffered by actual victims, but I did not report on what the abuser said in court. I did not report on how long it took for my client to tell me what had gone on. In court, the abuser presented photos of himself with the children, letters, and emails from our client about what a great father he was, letters in support of him from our client to his church. It was not until I spoke to relatives of my client and to the church that I got a fuller and truer picture of who he was and why she strove to protect him during the marriage. She was not lying. His “evidence” did not and does not contradict her truth. It just complicates it.
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