A mother with cancer to her children: 'When words fail me... at least I can say I love you' BreastCancerAwarenessMonth
So you’ll try. You’ll try to speak at the store and the wrong words come out, or none at all. The cashier will look at you blankly, unkindly, waiting. Out of desperation, you’ll search for other words around it. You might try to make excuses, or tell the truth, but when you look behind you at the line forming, everything becomes overwhelming. The outside world does not humour you.
But your family and good friends do. Your people, your family, your finances, your job or career, your pets, your dirty sheets, and your toilets—it will all slowly come into focus. Maybe the people you thought would be there are there. Or maybe they’re not. What matters are theYour family and those who love you will still be there. They will laugh with you when you say baseball instead of basketball, and they will pass you the corn with a smile when you ask them to pass the “thing” in the bowl.
Sometimes, those better tomorrows will come. Your brain will start to think again, little by little. It will be hard to read again, but it’s because your brain is having a moment of multitasking, or at least trying to, and you know it is healing itself. And in those moments, where you’re allowed to preoccupy yourself with what’s important to you now, you realize just how much your fight against cancer—chemobrain and all—goes beyond yourself.
You, who was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in 2016. You, the rare patient who suffers from this severe case of chemobrain, this significant cognitive impairment, but who has been accepting and begging for more of the complex lifesaving regimes these toxic gems provide, all the same. You, whose brain has been sapped of the very things that make you who you are.
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