A Personal Perspective: Mirroring is a natural behavior. Using it consciously can make you a more effective supporter.
I stumbled downstairs to the bathroom this morning and was immediately greeted by my exuberant and oh-so-happy seven-month labrador puppy. Yang is a service dog in training—normally well-behaved and able to go to the theater and banquets or sit quietly in meetings. Like Tigger, he is quiet and refined after breakfast.excited to see me . I reflected on his joy, my voice high-pitched and playful, even as I tried to calm his jumping by asking for a seat.
Babies develop the ability to mirror interacting with others. Mothers talk to their babies, imitating their expressions. Babies mirror back, moms change their expressions, and babies follow. Even newborns less than a day old show evidence of imitating facial expressions.We naturally mirror those around us, and they mirror us. Try it. While having coffee with a friend, notice how they have their arms on the table. Mirror them by putting your arms the same way . Tilt your head as they do.
You'd think that would be hard, but it's not. It is something humans do naturally to get into synch with one another. Now, take the lead. Cross your legs, and watch them do it, too. Lean back and see what happens. People who like and work together naturally mirror one another's physical movements. Studies show that wepeople who mirror us more closely. You'd think we'd notice the imitation, but we tend to be aware of it at a subconscious rather than conscious level.
Emotions mirror too. We naturally lift our voices to share one another's joys and lower them to match their sorrow.Unlike bathroom mirrors, human mirrors reflect one another. So do humans and animals. That's what happened to me and Yang this morning. He was wildly happy, and I changed my mood, behavior, and tempo to match.What calmed him, though, was my conscious use of mirroring. I moved from playfully wrestling belly rubs to stroking. I slowed my doggy praise.
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