After struggling to coalesce around a new House speaker for more than three weeks following the ouster of Kevin McCarthy, Republicans have confirmed Mike Johnson of Louisiana in the role. The Onion looks at the key moments of the GOP speakership debacle.
January 26, 1965 A baby is born so remarkably bland and uncharismatic that his parents, Roberta and Owen McCarthy, knew he was destined to be a historical footnote someday. January 6, 2023 McCarthy wins House speaker vote the usual way: being barely elected after 15 rounds of voting thanks to shredding the last of his dignity to appease extremists. October 3 Rep. Matt Gaetz leads group to oust McCarthy over charges that his incompetence isn’t racist enough. October 4 Rep.
October 15 A child in an adorable suit with a tiny gavel who claims to be the next speaker of the House receives 43 motions of “Aww.” October 16 Disgusted with his party’s inability to choose a permanent replacement, Speaker Pro Tempore Patrick McHenry spins his bow tie until he ascends skyward and waves goodbye to Washington. October 17 Obscure 19th-century law puts Capitol gift shop employee temporarily in running for role. October 20 Despite his role in the Jan.
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