“Dear babysitter — I have a short list of do’s and don’ts for you.”
Welcome to our home, and thanks for agreeing to watch our three boys . Before we go any further in this relationship, you have to understand something: Most of us have ADHD. By “most of us,” I mean “everyone but the youngest.” That’s only because we’re not sure about him yet, but the genetics odds are strong with this one.
You will also live with my kitchen. See, my husband Bear cooks and does the dishes, because I once set coleslaw on fire . That means he does the dishes because they gross me out. He also works full time. So there are dishes everywhere. I won’t ask you to deal with it — I’ll put out clean stuff for you — but don’t judge. He gets distracted when he starts the dishes, so they don’t get done until we’re munching cereal with grapefruit spoons.
My kids also have “food allergies.” I call them that because it’s the easiest way to impress their seriousness on people. “Intolerance” sounds less dire. But you give any of my kids dairy, wheat, or artificial dyes and I will hunt you down at your dorm room, drop them off, and let you cope with the tantrums, the screaming, the hitting, and the defiance. There’s something about their ADHD that’s linked to food issues, and the combo makes them “crazy pants.” It always has.
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