Advice: Dad still coddles 28-year-old daughter, filling her car with gas and texting her nightly reminders to brush her teeth.
These are obviously acts of service and how he expresses his love. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to and his reply is always, “I just want to help you as much as I can.” When I lived at home, it wasn’t that weird, but now that I live 40 minutes away … it feels very weird.
Now the thoughts. Three people have a say — dad, you, fiance — not co-workers! — involving three concepts — intent, consent, transparency.With your dad, intent matters. Such intrusive caregiving can be an exercise of love or control, or a combination of both. If you’re responding to external voices, then I urge you not to marry anyone until you can tune others out effectively enough to heed your own voice. Again, in a therapist’s care if you’re stuck.
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