Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom’s emotional dependence clips her adult child’s wings

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom’s emotional dependence clips her adult child’s wings
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'The only thing she ever loved doing was being a mom,' and one of her grown children feels guilty for wanting to leave.

All she looks forward to now is grandchildren, but none of us is going to make that happen anytime soon. My dad does his own things while my mom cooks, cleans, works a job she hates and spends time with me.

As you plant your feet on this truth, your actions can remain caring, loving and involved. You can spend time with your mom when you want to, without enabling or getting sucked in. You can get into the habit of not responding anymore to her laments, or bouncing them back to her: “Yeah, tough one. What do you think you’ll do?” Her next reference to her expected grandchildren is an opening to say, once, clearly: “Waiting for other people to make your life better sounds like torture for you.

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