What are we? Are we together? Why do I feel jealous of your romantic partners? Why do I feel sad when I go on holiday and you’re not there?
This describes the idea that we, as a community—many of us who have encountered painful biological family fractures—find real family in our friends. Family which we chose. Family which often does the job a biological family is not willing to do.
Other friends would open up to me, when I would open up to them, that they had this kind of friend, too. Some never kissed, some had full-out sex; one pair of best girlfriends I know used to have threesomes together and then laugh about it all the way home, knowing that what was between them was never really romantic.
What are we? Are we together? Why do I feel jealous of your romantic partners? Why do I feel sad when I go on holiday and you’re not there We’ve been friends for a decade now. Naturally the look of our friendship has changed—we spend less time together now, and we certainly don’t kiss—not that we wouldn’t, but we have partners who would find that uncomfortable. In fact, when my boyfriend, Ace, and I opened our relationship the one rule we made was that Hatty and I weren’t allowed to have sex.
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