Apple Martin Is 16, Meaning You're 100 Years Old

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Apple Martin Is 16, Meaning You're 100 Years Old
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No offense but I'm old as shit.

Yesterday Apple Martin turned 16, giving us all an opportunity to collectively mourn our youth. The name of

and Chris Martin's offspring has been a celebrity fun fact since she was born in 2004. It's enough to make you nostalgic: Paltrow was still an actress, fresh off. Goop is just a few synapses in her evil genius brain. The recession is years away, what global pandemic?on Netflix, Apple has grown up almost entirely out of the public eye. She makes her debut as a teenager on her mothers' Instagram, in a birthday post with an uncanny resemblance to a Reformation ad .

Gwyneth Paltrow on Instagram: “I can’t believe I’m actually writing these words but... happy sweet sixteen my darling girl. You are the light of my heart, you are pure…” "I can't believe I'm actually writing these words but... happy sweet sixteen my darling girl," Paltrow gushed on Insta."You are the light of my heart, you are pure joy. You are wickedly intelligent and you have the best, most dry, most brilliant sense of humor. I have the best time being your mom. I love our nightly evening chats when I really get to hear what's on your mind.

Like many teens, Apple has ambitions in the world of fashion and entertainment. Unlike most teens, Emma Roberts, Selma Blair, Kate Hudson, Kelly Rowland, Kate Bosworth, Cameron Diaz, Courtney Love, Katie Couric, January Jones and Jenni Konner all wished her happy birthday in the comments. Dereck Blasberg asked"How much longer till Apple can take me clubbin'? Love you, Aps!"

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