There are two types of people in this world. They are not good or bad, glass half-full or half-empty. They are: the Aragorn Girls and the Legolas Girls
Photo: Everett Collection Watching and rewatching The Lord of The Rings was a formative part of my youth, largely for sexual reasons. Around the age of 12, I developed special feelings for the blond elf. I didn’t have the language to express desire, but I can recall its first physical sensations: a belly ache, low in my stomach, and a feeling like I missed someone.
Aragorn is a man, revealed to be the somewhat reluctant heir to several important thrones, which he takes up at the end of the story. He is noble, loyal, and good with a sword; he even has a hot, elfin girlfriend whom he loves. He’s played by a young Viggo Mortensen, and I suppose he’s attractive in a rugged way, with sweaty, shoulder-length black hair, swarthy skin, and bright green eyes.
“He was impeccably groomed, highly competent, and very handsome, while also retaining this safe, sexless aura,” Callie Beusman, the Cut’s news editor told me of her preteen attraction to him. Like I did at that age, she considered Legolas “the most gorgeous man on the planet,” whereas Aragorn was simply a nonentity, who seemed kind of “old and dirty.”
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