'Artemis Fowl' Review: When YA-Classic Adaptations Go Wrong

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'Artemis Fowl' Review: When YA-Classic Adaptations Go Wrong
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'Artemis Fowl' turns a popular YA-lit series about an evil boy genius into another bland Disney product. Read Peter Travers' review

Sadly, said magic is otherwise in short supply. As the film begins, we learn that Arty’s mother has died, and Dad is a person of interest in some of the biggest robberies of the last 10 years . Artemis Sr. keeps a lot of secrets — wait until you see his basement — but he does find the time to teach his boy about leprechauns, banshees, sprites, goblins and the fairies who live underground. Blarney? Not in this movie.

The movie comes front-loaded with exposition to help those who never read all or any of the books. Most of the verbalizing emanates from Mulch Diggums , a giant dwarf being questioned throughout the film by MI6. As ever, Gad is good company, but the bearded Mulch is cut from the same cloth as Hagrid in the Potter series, whose wizarding world is, depending on your point of view, being revered or ripped off. Can a movie feel too busy and too constricted at the same time?is living proof.

It helps that the fairies are ruled by Commander Root, cheekily played by Dame Judi Dench with a shock of white hair and voice that sounds like she gargled with gravel. Dench is a hoot, going against advice from chief technical officer Foaly to assign rookie Holly Short to zap up to the world of muggles — sorry,— and get the Aculos before Arty does. Or something like that.

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