Dear Amy: I’m a grown millennial. My parents are aging. Unfortunately, I don’t have much in common with them.
They’re disorganized and I like to be organized.They are always in debt, while I am frugal. The list goes on and on.It’s tough. They are over 70 and I’m dreading the caregiving years.How should grown children deal with parents with whom they have little in common?Dear Anonymous: If you are a parent, I hope my insight will help you to reframe your reaction; if you’re not – my thoughts might help to inform the way you see this issue.
Given the level at which your parents function, they may have done a less-than stellar job meeting the standards most parents work so hard to reach, but – not to put too fine a point on it – you are alive. High functioning. They obviously care about you . It is vital that you take good care of yourself. This includes establishing boundaries, understanding that you will not be able to control or change them, and practicing the all-important level of compassionate detachment where you are able to enjoy some of your time with them, despite your differences in temperament and lifestyle.I helped to raise his daughter, who gave me a beautiful grandson.
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