Ask Amy: I just found out why these relatives stopped speaking to me

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Ask Amy: I just found out why these relatives stopped speaking to me
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Turns out my mother told them I was a heroin addict so they would give her money.

Amy, I have never had a problem with drugs, nor have I had any legal issues. I’ve never even borrowed money from my mother!I’m beyond angry that she used me to have her family send money to her! I’m angry that they believed her!

Compose a letter or email. Word it carefully. Express something along these lines: “I have recently become aware that my mother has told you that I have drug problems or other legal problems, and has used this as a reason to accept money from you. This is not true, and I’m concerned that you might be giving her money under false pretenses. I have never needed or accepted any money from Mom, but I am aware that she has had financial troubles of her own.

Amy, most woman enjoy having a girls’ night out, and men enjoy having a men’s-only activity, like a motorcycle trip, hunting, fishing, etc.I don’t want to stop our girls-only night out, but I don’t want him to gripe at her about it, either.I’m going to sidestep your gendered assumptions about what men and women enjoy doing with their free time, but I do agree that it can be liberating and empowering to spend some leisure time away from spouses and children.

If your son-in-law complains to you, you should work hard to understand that he isn’t criticizing you, but perhaps he doesn’t have the friendship or family ties to have these experiences, himself. He wants in!

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