Should this letter writer tell his brother about the long-term effects of his childhood bullying?
I grew up in the ’60s in a Midwestern family where we were taught to repress our emotions. I was a sensitive and creative kid, the youngest of three brothers. My parents were loving but detached, which offered my brother endless opportunities to torment me.I moved away from our small town after high school and have had a good life and successful career. But it took many years to overcome the low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence that I partly attribute to my brother’s abuse.
Your brother’s life doesn’t seem to have been particularly easy, while you have successfully overcome the adversity presented by growing up in your household. If you believe in karma, you might view this outcome as accountability — of the cosmic kind.You say you’ve forgiven your brother, and if so, this should enable you to approach him with compassion. It’s a popular understanding that bullies are sometimes wounded themselves.
Your goal should not be to make your elder brother feel worse about his own life, but to better understand your family’s overall dysfunctional system. I hope you can leave this meeting believing that you’ve put some of these questions to rest.Several years ago, my then-granddaughter transitioned to a male. All of us in the family have supported him 100 percent. I’ve always been the family picture-taker.
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