I once believed my house was infested with bedbugs, felt sick with anxiety and checked beds, carpets and sofas - here's how I overcame it
I once believed my house was infested with bedbugs, felt sick with anxiety and checked beds, carpets and sofas – here’s how I overcame itIn recent weeks when I’ve been reading the paper or scrolling on news websites I’ve had a slightly sick sensation in my stomach. Not due to endless stories about violent conflict or, but because of the frequent articles about bedbugs.
I recognise this delay in seeking help: I first experienced OCD when I was 10 years old. My family was moving from Devon to Yorkshire and I was about to start high school. In hindsight I can see that OCD was my mind’s misguided way of trying to control the huge life changes I was going through. I became convinced that something bad would happen if I didn’t perform actions in groups of three, and started to have intrusive thoughts that were dark and disturbing.
When I was 29 I gave birth to my first child, a baby girl who barely slept. As I grew more and more exhausted I developed an obsession with the mice that scuttled inside the walls of our block of flats, but again I ploughed on and waited for the thoughts to subside. This is the power of OCD: it creates a fantasy world that feels horribly real. I reached for my phone and started to google bedbugs, kept checking beds, carpets and sofas, and felt sick with anxiety if I discovered a bite .
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