Friends-with-benefits relationships can work, new research shows, but partners are a lot more likely to avoid hurt feelings if both agree to some ground rules. And it all starts with these 3 types.
Emotional connections and jealousy should be restricted.Source: Karthigamage, CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons
If you have friends you would like to have sex with, but you don’t want to have a romantic relationship with them, or, perhaps, you’re already in a romantic relationship orbut still want to have sex with friends and you’re going to have sex with friends, what do you do? Lisa J. van Raalte and colleagues suggest you might want to have rules each of you follow: “Establishing communicative and behavioral boundaries inIn a romantic relationship a common rule isexclusivity.
relationship while not falling into the ‘territory’ of romantic relationships.” To help them out, they developed “rules” that maintained the status of their relationships. These fall into three types: communication, sexual, and relational rules.Nearly three-quarters reported they and their FWBR partner developed rules focused on whether either one should disclose or hide their personal feelings about the relationship, and under what conditions each could break the rule.
Rules also included guidelines about when communication should be restricted, such as, if either one has an extra-dyadic sexual encounter, “We keep it to ourselves.” Other guidelines restrict topics they cannot talk about such as, “No discussion of our past relationships, friends, or family.” To maintain the friendship rather than the romantic aspect of the relationship, emotional issues such as
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