Why brides may feel a huge letdown after the big day—and what they can do to reframe the feeling
Stafford and Scott identified several characteristics that separated “blue brides” from “happy brides.” First, compared to happy brides, blue brides often centered themselves in wedding planning and on the wedding day . Second, blue brides often experienced uncertainty, or questions, about the relationship. For example, some blue brides wondered if they had made the right decision to marry their partner, whereas others struggled with relationship expectations as a married couple.
Drawing on the research, I’ve identified four strategies that you can use to help reduce or avoid the post-wedding blues:Center celebrating with community.Over the next four weeks, I will dive in-depth into each of these strategies. This week, we start with tip number one.Getting married is a big turning point in a relationship, no matter how long you have been together.
Additionally, messaging from society and family, along with your previous experiences might fill you with questions or doubts about post-wedding life. Did your parents have a blissful union and you’re afraid yours won’t live up to that? Did your best friend confide in you that they had second thoughts after saying “I do” and you’re worried you might feel the same? Or are you unsure who “married you” is? Whatever the uncertainty is, it’s important to understand that it’s okay to have questions.
Uncertainties are normal during big transitions like marriage. In fact, married couples experience an array of questions, including doubts about their own involvement in the relationship , the marriage itself , and the influence of outsiders, like in-laws, on their bond . Unfortunately, unaddressed uncertainty can negatively impact your marriage. Research shows that uncertainty is linked to relational dissatisfaction and post-nuptial depression.
and obscure precise language or identification of our specific concerns. Being able to articulate and label your uncertainty gives you and your partner a better chance of being able to appropriately address your worries.For instance, instead of saying “I’m just unsure of how I’m supposed to act after we’re married,” dig a little deeper to understand what the specific uncertainty is.
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