'I felt the emptiness and sadness of our culture's thoughts that became my thoughts.'
on Instagram about a recurring pattern of events involving paparazzi that culminated in her running away to hide from the cameras.
"Every time I've gone to this beach club in Miami, I get papped — somehow when I check in paps no and get me in my bikini, and every time I've felt super vulnerable and unprepared — I've worn bikinis that were so too small and paid no mind to how I looked, then saw pictures online and comments and been so upset," she began. "I reminded myself when it, that I was thinking the culture's thoughts and not my own.
In the rest of the post, Camila Cabello explained that she returned to the club on April 2 with the intention of looking good in the paparazzi photos, but found that she's "never had a worst time at the beach" than when she spent the day fixating on her appearance.
Cabello shared that she wanted to talk about the experience to combat the messaging women receive about their bodies and what is celebrated by society. "I knew I looked good in the pictures and thought I would feel accomplished and yet I've never had a worst time at the beach," she wrote. "I felt the emptiness and sadness of our culture's thoughts that became my thoughts.
She concluded, "I'm not yet at the point in my journey where I can not give a fuck. Intellectually, I know what I look like doesn't determine how healthy, happy, or sexy I am. Emotionally, the messaging I get from our world is loud in my own head. Ironically, all the therapy, all the inner work is to try and get back to feeling like seven-year-old me on the beach. I'm mourning her today. Happy, silly, breathing, pretending to be a mermaid, FREE.
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