“I grew up in a social world that really rewarded being recognized for being a person who makes art in public. I’ve had to do a lot of work to question that and undo it and build a more complicated map of value in the world,” says Cyrus Dunham
Photo: Sam Richardson As we walk past his house in dusty northeast Los Angeles, Cyrus Grace Dunham gestures to his convertible with a loping wave, so I can’t tell if he wants to show it to me. There’s a bashful pride, a weighted hesitancy, that seems like it might be a natural state for Cyrus. Convertibles are unreasonable, so I have many predetermined judgments built into my questions about his beloved car. Do you refuse to put the windows up when the top is down? Masochistic, braggy.
Despite the timeline indicated, the book unfolds over two and a half years in which Cyrus finds himself caught between exhilaration and suspicion, wrestling with compulsory gender and social capital. When he writes about his mid-20s , the story zigzags, finding its shape from Cyrus’s hot-and-heady affairs during these years.
Throughout our walk, Cyrus is perpetually concerned with my comfort. I rub my arm for a second and he asks if I’m cold. The memoir warned me about this. He’s proud of being a good listener and asking good questions; he describes himself as shy and oriented to what people want him to be. “Devotion is the closest thing I’ve known to a stable gender” is one of his sentences I keep thinking about.
Cyrus has been a character in other people’s books before, a couple times in the work of his sister, and so he’s especially determined to take care of the people he writes about — starting by asking them to choose their own pseudonyms. Lake, Roman, Antonia, Stella, Jessica, Zoya, GD. “There were no holds barred,” Cyrus laughs, “They’re ridiculous! My best and oldest friend being called Jessica kills me.
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