DEAR ABBY: During my teenage years, I was repeatedly raped by my brother. The emotional and physical damage has left my life broken. He is now in a long-term relationship. Should I tell his girlfriend about the abuse? When I confronted him about it years ago, he denied it. If you were his girlfriend, wouldn't YOU want to know? -- HOLDING A SECRET
DEAR ABBY: I have just been diagnosed with cancer. I doubt that I will live another 10 years. My wife is arguing with me because I want to draw down my 401 over the next 10 years so I can enjoy the savings I have accrued during my long career. We are talking about a LOT of money, Abby -- expensive cars, expensive second homes, extravagant vacations.
How can I convince her that I deserve this after having worked for 40 years, and that we should enjoy these savings for the period of time left for me on Earth? -- WANTS TO ENJOY LIFE NOW DEAR WANTS: I’m sure your diagnosis has been frightening for both you and your wife. She may be worried that if you plow through all the money, there will be nothing left for her after you are gone. Although you are dubious about it, there is also the possibility that you may live 10 more years and beyond. That’s why this is an important subject you and your wife should discuss with a financial adviser.
The problem I’m having is that one particular co-worker brings in treats and shares them only with her favorite office buddies. She’s not discreet about it either. She struts around the office and makes a big scene delivering her homemade treats to her friends, right in front of the people she has chosen not to include.
DEAR MISSING OUT: What your co-worker is doing is rude. This is a lesson in politeness and consideration for others that children in grammar school usually learn. That said, if there’s no rule in your office against it, I do not advise confronting her. Turnabout is fair play, and perhaps you should discuss a “delicious” solution with the rest of the unfavored few.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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