“We do not want the boy included in what should be adult outings, but we can’t find a way of saying it.”
My brother is 53. He has one child, my 12-year-old nephew, “Conner.” Our father was difficult, and neither of us has many happy memories of times we shared with him. Perhaps in response to this, my brother seems incapable of socializing without his son.
If I’m planning a dinner out or something else where I think he might invite his son, I preface it with a grownups-only clause. I can’t discuss it with my sister-in-law because even though I know she would understand, she wouldn’t be tactful in mentioning it to my brother. It has now turned to my grandchildren. For example, at a family dinner, if I correct their table manners, she comes back with a smart comment like, “You can leave your elbows on the table” or “It’s OK to eat that with your fingers.” She’s trying to be the “fun aunt.”
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