Dear Abby: My new wife has gone off the rails. Am I just a dumb doormat?

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Dear Abby: My new wife has gone off the rails. Am I just a dumb doormat?
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She drinks and runs away from me, then says there’s nobody else.

If you haven’t already contacted your physician, schedule an appointment and be tested for any STDs your wife may have passed along to you after one of her escapades.

This scenario will continue until she comes to the realization that if she doesn’t immediately get help for her drinking, her marriage is over. The question is whether she’s willing to give up her addictions to alcohol, whatever other substances she may be sampling, and sex with other men. Loving her doesn’t make you dumb or a doormat. However, sooner or later you must accept that you can’t fix what’s wrong with her, and you’ll have to decide how much more pain you can tolerate. Please accept my sympathy.I have a single friend in her 40s. She has very noticeable vertical lines between her eyes when in animated conversation that detract greatly from her sweet face.

She’s on a limited income. I’d like to suggest Botox for her, and I’m willing to pay for it with a gift card or cash. Would it be OK to suggest it to her and how would you approach it?While I’m sure you mean well, if you bring this to your friend’s attention, you may make her self-conscious. Although Botox treatments can make a positive difference in someone’s appearance, they are only temporary. To maintain that “fresh” look, they must be repeated, and unless you plan to pay for her Botox in perpetuity, you shouldn’t give her something she can’t afford.

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