I have gone from being with them every day to half that time, and I hate it. I miss them terribly when they aren’t with me.
I want to do what’s best for my kids, and I struggle daily with worrying if what I am doing is best. Is it best for them to be with their dad half the time when he hasn’t been around much these past two years? I have talked to a lawyer, who said it’s up to me since we were never married. Friends and family have told me to give Dad only every other weekend, but is that truly what’s best for them?
I don’t know what to do and feel so lost. It would be easier for me if their dad had only every other weekend. However, this decision isn’t about me. How do I know if what I’m doing is best for my kids? -- MOMMY OF TWO IN MINNESOTA DEAR MOMMY: The answer to your question depends on how involved with the children their father is when they are with him. Does he talk to them, read to them, make sure they are clean, dressed, properly fed and getting enough exercise? Is his home clean and smoke-free? If the answer to any of these questions is no, the children need to be with the parent who will give them not only the best of care, but love them and let them know it every day.
To his credit, your ex appears to be stepping up to the plate. And you are right -- this isn’t just about you and your own needs. I applaud you for recognizing it.
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