Dear Abby: Wife’s smoking addiction clouds future of marriage

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Dear Abby: Wife’s smoking addiction clouds future of marriage
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DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for 32 years. I love her dearly. Recently, though, her smoking has been really bothering me. ...

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife for 32 years. I love her dearly. Recently, though, her smoking has been really bothering me. Her father passed away from COPD five years ago because he was a lifetime smoker. I thought that would convince her to stop. She has tried, but she always goes back.

My biggest concern, obviously, is that her health problems are increasing -- frequent colds , coughing while she sleeps, snoring terribly. We now sleep in separate beds at times just so I can get some sleep. When I bring up the subject of quitting, she gets defensive. Her mother will no longer talk to her about it, and she wants her to quit even more than I do.

DEAR END: By now it should be obvious that your wife is displaying classic symptoms of an addict. This is something she may have inherited from her father. She has a serious medical problem because she CANNOT quit on her own. If she’s even interested in doing so, which I doubt, she will need professional help. Nicotine patches and gum could aid her in cutting back, but a psychological component will still need to be addressed.

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