Advice from Annie Lane.
Finding topics of conversation can often be difficult during long visits. Since “Grinding My Teeth” feels that this may be the last time she and her husband will visit with these in-laws, why not take this opportunity to encourage these people to talk about their lives?
When they arrive, ask the in-laws if they would be willing to talk about memories from their younger years. The internet is full of suggestions of questions that will stimulate memories, so do a bit of research and type up a sheet of questions, maybe 30 or so, enough to have a question for each day. Everyone who has lived on this planet for a number of years has many stories to tell.
Too often we never get around to asking the meaningful questions before it is too late. Writing this letter has inI love the suggestion of turning something that could seem like a chore into a learning experience. We are never too old to learn new things and in listening to peoples’ stories we can learn a great deal about them in the present. What a beautiful suggestion.I am 65 and a retired attorney, and I read your column every day in our local paper.
Your column regarding the man whose wife asked everyone for advice on everything was extremely prescient and had profound personal resonance. I, too, have a wife who asks everyone everything. She asks the sales clerk in the store: “Should I buy it? Does it look good on me?”And I, too, have a wife who was an abused child of an alcoholic parent and has low self-esteem. After 40 years of marriage, I am learning to give my wife the love and understanding she deserves.
I figured you could use some admiration and commendation. You are wise beyond your years. Keep on being the counselor you are, like a wise uncle or aunt.Your letter makes me feel so good! A million thanks for taking the time to write.Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers. She lives outside Manhattan with her husband, two kids and two dogs.
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