Dear Care and Feeding: My Husband Keeps Saying He’ll Get a Vasectomy “Soon”

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Dear Care and Feeding: My Husband Keeps Saying He’ll Get a Vasectomy “Soon”
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I feel like we’ve finally settled on the right kind of birth control for us, so why does he keep putting it off?

I am the biological father of a 15-year-old girl whose biological mother and adopted dad and half-siblings just moved across the country to Houston. Previously, they lived in Fairbanks, Alaska—which is 300 miles from where I live in Anchorage. Now that her family lives in Houston, we are 3,300 miles apart. Her mother and I dated briefly in college. She was the first girlfriend I’d ever had, and it was not a healthy relationship.

I have had little contact with her for most of her life, but since she reached out to me two years ago, I have been trying to build a relationship with her through text messaging. The texts she sends me are all very similar: “YOU ABANDONED ME,” “YOU RUINED MY LIFE,” “YOU ARE A BAD PARENT,” “DON’T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS,” “I AM GOING TO HATE WHOMEVER YOU MARRY,” etc. I text her back and tell her I love her, trying hard to make things right because I know I am at fault.

Follow up with a phone call or a video chat. Decide how often you’re willing to talk, and stick to it. And if she continues to text you insults, I would text her back just to tell her when you’re going to call to talk for real. The first few conversations may go very badly, but if you’re serious about wanting to build a relationship, you’ll stay the course. And she may eventually get past where she is now. I’m pretty sure she didn’t reach out to you just to yell at you.

Help! How can I support Slate so I can keep reading all the advice from Dear Prudence, Care and Feeding, Ask a Teacher, and How to Do It? Answer:I have two 14-year-old twins, a boy and a girl. Over the last year or so, when we have had a family vacation planned, the kids are adamant that they do not want to come with us. We forced them once to accompany us on vacation, which quickly turned our holiday into a hell-a-day.

Overall he isn’t a bad kid. He would never steal, he wouldn’t abuse my dog , and he speaks to me respectfully , but I have a lot of work and family stress right now, and this is just something that’s consuming too much emotional energy for me . I want to maintain a friendly relationship with this family, but I’m super done with this crap.

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