Dear Fuck-Up,
Alright… real talk. I’m a white man in my mid-30s. I was raised in a very modest, Roman Catholic family in Pittsburgh, where I returned several years ago to build a new life as an adult. And it’s been generally successful! I genuinely love this city, it’s great to be around family again, I’m working enough to pay my bills, and I met a smart, attractive, well-traveled man about a year ago and locked that shit down into a lovely, healthy relationship.
But here’s the thing. While I’ve shed my religious upbringing in my adult life, I’ve held on to a moral code of being a good person and treating others with dignity and respect. And for the most part, I’ve tried to operate under the idea that most people are trying to do the same thing. But… the world doesn’t really look like that anymore.
I consider myself a smart consumer of media. I follow the news, maybe too much, but it’s always from sources that I believe are still reporting from a strange thing called “reality.” But, on a very core level I feel like the joy of life has been sucked out of me, and I only exist for “the fight” now. Every single advertisement now sounds like propaganda, every feel good story is some wicked angle to make me complicit in someone else’s exploitation.
I’m sorry that becoming aware of how the world immiserates people is exhausting, but who gives a shit? There are parts of that dynamic more exhausting than the awareness. I know it sounds like I’m dunking on you, and I am, but I’m also offering some very real advice for addressing what sounds like a growing problem in your life. Perhaps what is unfilling is not your quest to be good but seeing yourself as alone in it.
After all, the world has never been fundamentally fair and decent for most people in most places, and yet they manage to build lives full of meaning and suffering and joy.They are doing it all around you, right now, if you just take a look. People are standing beside their neighbors and demanding to be treated with dignity. They are giving money and shelter and support. They are asking to build something new in the ashes of the old.
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