MyTwoCents: 'I’ve been invited to five weddings this year, some of them in other countries, as my boyfriend’s plus-one. I’m excited to go, but I’m not really sure how to pay for all of this.' Read CharlotteCowles's advice
I’ve been invited to five weddings this year, some of them in other countries, as my boyfriend’s plus-one. I’m excited to go , but I’m not really sure how to pay for all of this. Between buying a new dress and paying for airfare or a rental car and a hotel, that’s several hundred dollars a pop at minimum.
It sounds like you’ve got a couple of separate problems muddled together. The first is that your boyfriend has assumed you’re willing to pay to attend all his friends’ weddings without asking you first or discussing how you’ll split costs. Second, you need to think about your financial priorities more broadly and where these weddings fit into them, not the other way around.
Another piece of advice: You do not need to buy multiple new dresses for these weddings. I promise that no one will care — or probably even notice — if you wear the same thing to most or even all of them. Yes, yes, I know,But seriously, just find one outfit that you feel great in and wear it shamelessly until it falls apart or suffers a wine-stained death.
Another way to clarify what’s “worth it” to spend money on is to consider your “values” more broadly. I know it sounds abstract, but it’s a good thought exercise, especially when you’re gearing up for a big money talk with your partner. You don’t need to devote hours of your time to this.to determining your values that takes about 20 minutes. You could ask your boyfriend to do it too.
It sounds trite, but remember to start and end with positive statements: “I’m really excited to go to all these weddings with you, but I’m a little concerned that you RSVP’d without consulting me about how they would affect my budget. I’d love for us to be on the same page about how our decisions affect each other financially.
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