Salt Lake Tribune guest columnist Eli McCann talks about large Latter-day Saint families and their big, yet not-so-big, weddings.
Meetinghouse receptions feature streamers dangling from basketball hoops, kids darting down carpet-walled hallways, and diners nibbling on butter mints and half-frozen eclairs.| Aug. 6, 2023, 12:00 p.m.
and when the software attempted to populate my family tree, it crashed the system and caused power outages in nine counties.” in which the protagonist is explaining to her WASPy new boyfriend that her family is different — that meeting all of them might be overwhelming. “I have 27 first cousins,” she emphasizes. “Just 27 first cousins alone.”
I had to draw a diagram to explain how it was possible for my mother’s nine siblings and my father’s seven siblings to produce enough children to fill out the roster for an entire Division 1 college football team. The cast of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3" — from left: John Corbett as Ian, Maria Vacratsis as Aunt Frieda, Melina Kotselou as Victory, Nia Vardalos as Toula, Elena Kampouris as Paris, Andrea Martin as Aunt Voula and Elias Kacavas as Aristotle.
We had just spent the summer traveling to America’s most inconvenient destinations to participate in a nearly never-ending stream of wedding ceremonies for his college friends who had devoted more time and energy to planning their festivities than the International Olympic Committee does in executing a global event. I realized, based on his reaction to my cousin’s announcement, I had never braced him for the often comparatively chaotic simplicity of a slapdash Utah Latter-day Saint wedding.
I tried to explain, again, that there really was no expectation that we actually attend. “They sent out hundreds of these, like a house flipper spamming mailboxes with offers to buy homes for cash in the neighborhood. Besides, I barely know this cousin. I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t even recognize each other in a crowd.”
“Honey,” I told him with a condescending pat on his hand. “This isn’t my first rodeo. I have 75 first cousins. Just 75 first cousins alone.”My husband is a physician, and last summer he happened to be working in the emergency department when my 90-year-old paternal grandma suddenly checked in after suffering a stroke. My parents and all my dad’s siblings were out of town on a trip together and didn’t have cell service. My husband called me and told me to come right away.
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