NEW YORK—Declaring that he and he alone could save his city from the forces of evil, New York Mayor Eric Adams was spotted Friday morning leaping off the Empire State Building wearing a homemade wingsuit. “From this day forward, any New Yorker who even thinks of committing a crime will have to contend with me, Eric…
NEW YORK—Declaring that he and he alone could save his city from the forces of evil, New York Mayor Eric Adams was spotted Friday morning leaping off the Empire State Building wearing a homemade wingsuit.
“Hoodlums and purse thieves, heed my cry! Using my ingenious flight gear, I will coast over all five boroughs keeping vigilant watch over the streets, and I will not hesitate to visit my righteous retribution upon those who dare defy the iron grip of the law! This is my city, not yours, and I will not permit a single petty larcenist, stickup artist, or jaywalker to prowl my divine streets. There is no corner of the city beyond my reach, nowhere you sick bastards can hide.
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