Federal Reserve Assures Venture Capitalists That They’re Very Smart And Important

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Federal Reserve Assures Venture Capitalists That They’re Very Smart And Important
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WASHINGTON—In the wake of the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and subsequent government bailout of its depositors, the Federal Reserve took steps Friday to assure venture capitalists that they’re very smart and important. “You are just the absolute most intelligent and creative bunch of guys and gals—and cute as…

WASHINGTON—In the wake of the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and subsequent government bailout of its depositors, the Federal Reserve took steps Friday to assure venture capitalists that they’re very smart and important. “You are just the absolute most intelligent and creative bunch of guys and gals—and cute as hell, to boot!” said Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell, adding that the U.S.

We can’t have that! Our nation’s venture capitalists are just adorable, and we would never, ever, ever, ever, ever want them to have a sad day! Don’t worry, engineering a bank run out of herd mentality and a basic disregard for how financial institutions operate could happen to anyone, and we’re so sorry that you guys had to deal with it, because you’re super awesome and clever, and nothing should stand in your way.

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