Get to Know Your Shadow

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Get to Know Your Shadow
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It's possible to develop a healthier relationship with your dark side. In fact, doing so could benefit your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

, without which he could not learn from early experiences and, therefore, could not grow up.Source: Photo courtesy Orange County Archives/Wikimedia Commons

While the burden of such memory created for Peter a degree of weightlessness permitting him the freedom to fly about, he wanted to be in relationship with his shadow and tried again and again to re-attach it, even to dance with it. Interestingly, Peter's shadow from time to time exhibited, or else evoked, emotions aligned with Peter's own courage of conviction, even joy and sadness.

I love a particular vignette from the story occurring at a point in conversation between Wendy and Peter when he begins to cry."I wasn't crying about mothers," he said rather indignantly."I was crying because I can't get my shadow to stick on. Besides, I wasn't crying."In a sense, Peter's shadow had functioned as a mother figure, and Peter lost his shadow the same way he lost his mother: by leaving through the window of a nursery.

We live in constant risk of projecting the threats of childhood: the way a coach cursed and slung us into the mud by the sidebar of a face mask; the way two friends mocked or betrayed, leaving us in silence and agony; the way a role model listened to our vulnerable disclosures with quick darting glances to the business and files of his office, uncharmed by the grace of the moment; the way the lunch lady screeched at our clumsiness with such fire and terror that our hearts pulsed...

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