How some people use third parties to get their way in relationships
, people with the closet narcissistic subtype feel too exposed and vulnerable to openly seek attention. They find more indirect manipulative ways of feeling special. Their version of triangulation is less overt and more devious.
Jean envies her co-worker Carol’s success. She feels very competitive with Carol but is much too afraid to openly sabotage her. Instead, she befriends Fran, who likes Carol, and sets about subtly alienating her from Carol by causing trouble between them. She says to Fran, “I know you like Carol, so I want you to know something. Please promise me that if I tell you, you won’t ever tell Carol I said anything.”Jean says, “I haven’t known how to tell you, but I am really uncomfortable about how Carol talks about you behind your back. I have been so shocked by some of the things she has been saying about you to the rest of the team. I stick up for you, of course, but I thought you should know.”Jean killed two birds with one stone.
When she met Jim, everything was blissful—at first. But no matter how Jim tried to reassure her, Marsha could not internalize the sense of being loved. Marsha kept devising new tests of his love for Jim to pass. When they had been
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