DearPrudie: I don’t approve of my daughter’s white fiancé.
Recently, I learned that my adult daughter was getting married within the year. I was surprised to learn this because I knew nothing of her dating anyone, let alone seriously enough that marriage was in the near future. I’ll admit my daughter and I are not as close as we could be, not since her mother and I divorced when she was a preteen and I moved out of state. Our contact was more limited after I remarried, but I still thought she would inform me of her beau.
A lot of people would say one of the problems here is that you care about her fiancé’s race at all. But I don’t agree.
The way forward is to apologize for overstepping and assure her that you would love to attend the wedding if she can forgive you. If she accepts, ask yourself if you can be comfortable with a role in her wedding that matches the role you’ve had in her life so far: Someone who’s happy for her but isn’t one of the main characters in her story and isn’t entitled to a say about how things happen.
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