This month Dr. Carol Queen gives us the low-down on all things libido. carolqueen sexeducation libido
First, let’s just acknowledge that we have lived through an era that could try any libido. Or maybe supercharge it, depending on how you deal with stress or respond to quarantine, or what your relationships have looked like over the past year or two. So, there’s that.
All that assumes downturns in libido, but of course, science has been telling us for decades that “women’s sexual peak is in their 30s”—and many of us really have noticed that this can be a pretty frisky decade. As a cultural sexologist, I see lots of social and psychological elements in play here. Basically, it can take some of us this long to get over our half-assed sex education and patriarchal suppression and come into our own, sexually speaking.
Perimenopause brings with it many potential effects, not all of them sexual. But changes in libido are pretty common. I taught a recent menopause class that required some updated research, and something jumped out at me. Sleep disturbance is no friend to the libido! It creeps up on many folks at this stage in life and may be worsened by another common side effect: hot flashes.
If your libido has hit a bump in the road, take stock. Is it associated with any changes in your life? There are often clues that can send us to the doc , a psychiatrist or couple’s therapist, a sex toy store, an AA meeting, or who-knows-where, because we all need different things. Don’t forget to masturbate. If nothing else, it helps keep your blood flowing and informs you of bodily changes.
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