Hitmaker of the Month: Producer Oak Felder talks about getting 'inside the head' of Demi Lovato for the painful but therapeutic 'I Love Me.'
’s “I Love Me” and felt a pulse of pain during the chorus — when the singer belts, “Oh, why do I compare myself to everyone? / And I always got my finger on the self destruct” — you were likely experiencing some of what songwriter and producer Oak Felder,“To be honest with you, it was a painful process for me specifically: I started working on the idea for that song the week that I found out she had overdosed,” Felder says of Lovato’s July 2018 hospitalization following six years of sobriety.
“But I always loved a certain melody,” Felder says of the scrapped tune, and he couldn’t get it out of his head when he reunited with another frequent collaborator, Sean Douglas, and Lovato after she recovered and began to contemplate her comeback. “I went, ‘Oh s–t, I might have a production that works,’ ” he remembers. “I played the first version of the track and sang the melody for Demi and she was like, ‘This is fire.’ So then we sat down and rewrote the whole thing.
But Lovato’s mind is also where the magic happens. “It was quick — maybe two hours,” Felder says of their session. “You’re dealing with three people who are very analytical, so this is something that we’ve thought about for days before getting to this point. One thing I can say about Demi: She for s–t sure knows what she wants to say. … She’s one of the realest people I’ve ever met, and that is rare in the music industry.
It may come as a surprise to some that a “400-pound, 6-foot-5-inch Black Turk with a mohawk,” which is how Felder described himself in a recent TED Talk, is so in touch with his feminine side, and capable of writing from the perspective of a young woman who has battled substance abuse, an eating disorder and toxic relationships, among other issues. “I’m not going to lie to you — I’ve been the guy taking a walk and a middle-aged white woman will cross the street [to avoid me],” says Felder.
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