'For me, doing [my son's] hair is a precious ritual that connects us both to our ancestors—the men and women who have lovingly cared for Black hair,' says writer marisareneelee
After he is freshly bathed and slathered in Aquaphor, I place my son on the floor in between my legs and begin the most sacred part of his bedtime ritual: his hair. Our son was born with a full head of hair and his little curls remind me of my mother’s hair. Hair that returned in fine tiny spirals just after her chemo ended and before her death arrived.
And isn’t just about the statistics, it’s about the connection that exists between every single detail of our lives and the legacy of slavery and racism in America. We celebrate Juneteenth as though the history of slavery is something remote, a stain that occurred long ago. But our past is our present. The inability for many in this country to view Black people as full and worthy human beings ties back to the time when we weren’t. We came here as property and that fact still matters today.
I was only nine when I first convinced my mother it was time to start relaxing my hair. I felt like if I could just have white girl hair, the kind of hair you can just casually toss over your shoulders, all would be right with the world. I simply could not conceive of a world where my own wild curls were synonymous with beauty. For decades my hair was mostly an inconvenience I expensively maintained.
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