Babies don’t come with a manual, but they do come with a formula. When my daughter was diagnosed with failure to thrive, the only failure I saw was me.
She let me listen to her heart, less a beat than the thrum of a washing machine, and referred us to a cardiologist. A few hours later, I stood with my husband in the cardiologist’s examination room while he explained that our daughter’s heart was massively enlarged. A hole allowed blood to flow back into the chamber and cause swelling. She needed an operation to plug the hole, which they scheduled for the next morning.
After the operation, I thought that, if I followed the rules the doctors gave us, Iris would finally bloom into who she was always supposed to be. I measured out her medicine and spent all of my downtime, supplementing each one with a scoop of formula. I weighed her in the morning and at night, after every meal and poop.
At six months, no crawling. At 12 months, no walking. At 18 months, no talking. Even her teeth grew in late. And precious days were wasted stressing over those numbers.in her own time
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