“Connecting over other things is charged. Saying the name of the neighborhood where I live — Bloomingdale, which is also where I grew up — is met with loaded commentary about what the neighborhood used to be,” writes Ashley Stoney
Illustration: By Blacksneakers “My dad owns his own construction company,” a colleague was saying to the others gathered in the office kitchen. As more of my co-workers listed their fathers’ powerful-sounding jobs, I felt relieved to be at my desk, figuring I would not have much to add in a group of white people from affluent backgrounds. I don’t know exactly what my dad did at the time, but basically he is a cook who changes jobs often.
My greatest achievements were my colleagues’ norms — the bare-minimum requirements. I am proudly a first-generation college graduate. My mom worked as a receptionist, executive assistant, and office manager at a D.C. trade association. Her roles were rewarding and gave her a work-life balance that meant she double-checked my homework each night as she cooked dinner in our single-parent household. But her earning potential was limited, and she didn’t save up for college.
This is because connecting over other things is charged. Saying the name of the neighborhood where I live — Bloomingdale, which is also where I grew up — is met with loaded commentary about what the neighborhood used to be. It used to be “scary” and “dangerous,” a place people “couldn’t go.” I don’t know if the thought is there’s no way Black women with college degrees grew up there or that I am one of them.
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