How honest conversation can help you to achieve compromise in your relationships ✒️ DrRadhaModgil for ipaperviews
Arguments and disagreements can hold a healthy element of compromise to find solutions. However, compromise becomes damaging when someone in that relationship is asked to compromise who they are – their needs, their values, their dreams, their vision and their joy. When compromise involves giving up who we are and what we stand for, what we want for our lives, then we compromise ourselves.
So how can we notice the difference and make the best choices for ourselves and others? It is helpful to understand why we compromise, because in that understanding lies the answers to how we can change.Someone who loves you should never ask you to compromise who you are Many of us have grown up with negative consequences to any kind of conflict or disagreement. We may have experienced loss or other people abandoning us if we haven’t compromised ourselves and our needs. Or perhaps our self-critic is triggered if we don’t compromise and we judge ourselves to be “bad” or we feel that we have done something “wrong”.
It is helpful if this is the case to recognise that our emotional reactions are coming from an old hurt and habitual pattern and that we can now choose differently. If someone truly loves you, they should never ask you to compromise who you are for their sake.We might have a tendency to “overcompromise” or be the first to offer to give up one of our needs or dreams for others.
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