How to Actually Eat on Public Transit, You Animal

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How to Actually Eat on Public Transit, You Animal
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Don't be that guy eating soup on the subway or tuna salad on a flight.

I like to eat at a table. Sometimes at a counter. And possibly even standing on the sidewalk, if we’re talking about a slice of pizza. But I do not like to eat on buses. Or on airplanes. Or in cramped subways. As someone who takes various forms of public transportation every day, I can tell you that the rest of the world does not seem to share these preferences. People eat full-on meals within inches of other commuters, in the gnarliest places around. And I wish they wouldn’t.

You’ve seen the type, hunched over a styrofoam container, slurping noodles, picking the final bits of their kale salad from their Tupperware, or spooning yogurt into their face hole, as if they’re in the comfort of their own home. Shared transportation is already far from a tranquil experience, and in my very honest opinion, having to worry about the possibility of smelling something nasty or getting food dumped on a new pair of pants makes the experience even worse.

I’m not here to yell at you. I’m not here to tell you that you can never put a piece of food into your mouth while in transit. I just want to ask you some questions. I just want to leave you with a few things to consider before your next meal on a plane, train, or automobile:Unless you have a private jet or a yacht or somehow afforded to build your own railway system through your 932-acre ranch, you’re probably traveling with other people.

But if my exposure to our world’s latest human offerings has taught me anything, it’s that common sense seems to be in short supply. Co-habitation is about sharing. And sharing is about respect. And respect is about considering the other people around you just as much as you consider yourself. Treat others the way... yadda, yadda, yadda. You know how that one goes. You’d be pissed to sit next to someone going to town on a pound of egg salad. Having a rogue, saucy meatball land on your white shirt would probably ruin your day. And sitting in a puddle of melted ice cream certainly wouldn’t set you off on the right foot.

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