What to ask yourself when you can’t let go of the worst-case scenarios in your head
Photo: H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty Images Have you ever come up with an almost comically dark theory about why someone said or did something that caused you pain? And even though you knew the theory was ridiculous, and you didn’t actually want it to be true, it also made a perversely satisfying kind of sense??For me these thoughts feel sort of like Gollum with his ring. I know they’re bad, but I just keep petting them.
The freest and most frightening freedom. I also liked this bit, about how clinging to these kinds of theories is not only stressful and unpleasant but also selfish and even insulting: As far as avoiding these traps in the future, Colier recommends asking yourself, when you realize you’ve come up with an especially terrible theory about why something happened, if it isn’t something that you’ve mostly created on your own, and that likely bears no semblance to whatever the truth might be — if the truth exists at all. “See if it’s possible to loosen your grip on the ‘big T’ Truth,” she writes.
“His answer wasn’t really true,” Wright writes, “but it does inspire a kind of confidence in him. He seems like a guy who is in charge of himself, who doesn’t go around doing things for no good reason. Compare him with a guy who offers a more truthful account: ‘I don’t really know why I got up or where I’m going. Sometimes I just do stuff for reasons that make no sense to me.’”
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