‘I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Abusive Ex’

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‘I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Abusive Ex’
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HolaPapi: “How do I get rid of this anger? I just want to forget all about it and not give her any space in my brain because she doesn’t deserve it. What should I do?” jpbrammer responds

Illustration: Pedro Nekoi I broke up with my girlfriend six months ago and still get angry whenever her name comes up. I’ve done everything I can think of to move past it, and none of it has worked. I’m just as furious as ever. If not more!

But how do I get rid of this anger? I just want to forget all about it and not give her any space in my brain because she doesn’t deserve it. What should I do?That sounds like a bad relationship. I’m glad you got out of it! You should be proud of yourself. But isn’t it frustrating how getting out of a relationship doesn’t always mean getting out of the way it made you feel?

Have you ever wanted something you can’t possibly have? I do all the time! Right now, I wish I was sitting in a coffee shop, or in my husband’s house. But everything is closed and I don’t have a husband or even a boyfriend who is a pastry chef . I can’t conjure those realities either, because I’m not a warlock or whatever entity can do that kind of thing.

I offer you this, AL, with the hope that you can accept it: You can’t forget this person or erase her from your life. Indeed, the more you try to forget her, the more you will actually be thinking of her. Our experiences collapse into our identities, and whether big or small, the impact they make is here to stay.

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