Boundaries between work and life.
I promised my kids I was done working for the day. I closed my laptop and I took them to the pool. That night, after pizza and ice cream, we sat down on my bed to watch a movie. In the dark, I pulled my laptop out again. My daughter groaned. “More work? That laptop is your favorite third child.”
I didn’t grow up with a mother who was employed outside of the home. My mom had eight children and homeschooled us until we reached high school. She was a professional mom. For most of my childhood, she made our bread from scratch, mixed up natural peanut butter with natural honey, and bought milk straight from a cow.
I love my mom, but I never wanted that. I wanted a career. I wanted employment and independence. And I have that. Except, I don’t always know what that looks like. I don’t know if it means I should always be the classroom volunteer or if it’s okay if I miss a Christmas party at school. I don’t know if it only means working after they go to bed, or saving my sanity and my own bedtime and asking them to give me a moment while I finish edits.I wanted to be a good mother.
The data on parenting and work is just as biased as our assumptions about motherhood and work. For a long time, studies only showed the impact of a working mother on the emotional and social development of kids. They didn’t look at fathers. Studies now, look at both genders, but you’d be hard-pressed to find one that just looks at the impact of working fathers alone.
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