What happens when you break up with someone you've never met.
In late March I moved home to Wales from London to quarantine with my family, and was regressing to my foot-stomping, duvet-hogging 15-year-old self at speed. In an attempt to stay connected to my old life, I Zoomed work colleagues and pretended my Tassimo machine was my local barista.
By week four I knew all about the village pub his grandparents run, his cousin’s newborn baby, and the names of his best friends. Week six was when I heard about his reckless uni days and learned about the ex who broke his heart. In week nine we had our first fight. Come week 12 we were making future plans and joking about moving to Lake Como.
I slowly began to find his geeky traits endearing. I indulged him when he psychoanalyzed the Star Wars universe and feigned interest as he spoke about building a PC by hand. My heart swelled when he video called his Nan and I began to picture myself in his life, though I’d only glimpsed it through a screen. Suddenly, things didn’t feel so harmless anymore.
I didn’t realize how much of myself I’d given until he started to pull away. When lockdown restrictions eased across the UK and the world started to spin again, it became clear we were moving in different directions. I lost my job. He went back to work. I jigsawed my life into my childhood bedroom. He found a swanky new apartment. My world was shrinking while his was only opening up. It was only a matter of time before our distant plans made way for socially-distanced dating.
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