Dear How to Do It: I just found out my daughter is a sex worker, and she thinks it’s no big deal.
My daughter moved to a major coastal city after college. While I covered her education, I couldn’t afford to bankroll her move to this city because I have to think of her younger sister and brother’s schooling in a couple of years. She was determined to go and has struggled since she left in August. I send money when I can, but it’s not much, and she told me she was scraping by working at a vintage store and doing transcription work.
As far as basic safety, she should be very careful about anything with her legal name or address on it—like mail or packages—getting caught on cam or in a selfie. Amazon Wish Lists have been a security risk in the past. She should lock any private or recreational social media profiles down as tightly as possible. She should be coy about what region she lives in.
With all that said, I’m about to start treatment for this condition come the new year. They think I’ll respond well to it, which could mean that sex won’t be such an ordeal. Even with that in mind, I find myself being repulsed by the thought of engaging in intercourse, even though I find him attractive and don’t want anyone else. My fiancé has been amazing throughout the whole process of diagnosis, treatments, weird symptoms, you name it.
When you have more data, talk it out. Go to your partner and share your turmoil. Ask him how he feels about everything, and actively listen. You might find that having your partner’s security and consent to openness reiterated helps you, or that there’s something he’s been holding back. Be prepared for either possibility.
That leads me to my next question topic: I want to use a vibrator. I’ve only ever used one for the clitoris, but I want to try penetration. Except every time I’ve tried, I freeze up and get really nervous. I’ve got an irrational fear of stretching myself and fear that I will injure myself with anything bigger than a tampon.
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